In a perfect world, each moment of a relationship would be like those passionate descriptions from 50 Shades of Gray. So what keeps us from living that lust-filled, head-over-heels type love life? Nothing more than getting stuck in the same routine patterns, and letting our priority for romance and intimacy shift to the back burner. Let me push you to take a look at your relationship. If you want to receive more love, affection and intimacy you need to give more. That means seizing every opportunity to sweeten up even the most seemingly unsentimental times together.
The beginning of relationships are always fun – things are new and you want to be with your partner all day, every day. But eventually it takes a little more effort to keep the spark going. Sharing a bed, a bathroom and a closet can make you both feel more like roommates than lovers. I’ve been in my relationship for 9 years and here are 6 ways to keep the spark in your relationship, once you pass the honeymoon phase.
1. Sleep together
There’s something every couple should do between the sheets to stay connected, and it’s not what you think. Going to bed at the same time creates more opportunity to cuddle. The aim is not to initiate sex but share affection and emotional connection. Instead of watching that extra episode of your favorite television show, take the time to indulge in this physical closeness.
The beginning of relationships are always fun – things are new and you want to be with your partner all day, every day. But eventually it takes a little more effort to keep the spark going
2. Love on them
When was the last time you praised your partner, and genuinely complimented them while you’re just together and in public? Giving your partner loving words of appreciation daily boosts their confidence and morale, but also gives them a subtle reminder to always love on you too.
3. Be present
We are so connected to our technology that it’s not difficult to believe that people touch their smartphones more than they touch their partners. Due to our fast-paced lives, we also get limited time with our lover. So when you do have that quality time together, make sure to be present by paying attention and interacting, not just fidgeting on your phone. Make a deal that when you are having dinner together, all technology should be turned off. I’m sure you will get more “Likes” from your partner than the virtual world.
So when you do have that quality time together, make sure to be present by paying attention and interacting, not just fidgeting on your phone
4. Always be dating
Remember your first date? Between the initial infatuation and the long-term commitment, we easily forget to continue dating. Relationships can get monotonous and predictable. Keep it spontaneous! Have a “Date Night” jar with fun suggestions and surprise them every so often, perhaps with sexy lingerie or their favourite dessert. These small gestures can leave a big impact, especially when you’re way past the infatuation stage.
5. Recharge your sex life
Your lingerie is not meant for collecting dust – have sex more often! Initiate sex on a regular basis so you both feel attractive and desirable. Nobody wants vanilla sex, so get creative and keep it fun. This is a no fail method that will instantly increase excitement and help reignite that spark.
Have a “Date Night” jar with fun suggestions and surprise them every so often
6. Keep Busy
Do things that you love and do it often. When you are not so easily accessible, your partner will instantly crave more of your attention. When you do catch up, you will have more to share with one another, which will make your man feel incredibly grateful for the time you do spend together.
How do you keep the spark in your relationship? We’d love to hear about it in the comments!
Rian Aldim is a Melbourne-based Mumpreneur. She is a marriage celebrant, motivational speaker and runs an online skincare, cosmetics and nutrition business. With a background in psychology, media and business, she teaches Image development and Communication at Trade Secret Academy. As the queen of time management, she also juggles all this along with her 3 children. Rian is passionate about education, travel, family and living a fulfilling life.