From the outside, I appeared confident. I was achieving courageous feats for a young Indian woman, including being one of eight women (out of a group of 300) to complete a Navy Diving Course. However, in social situations, I found overcoming shyness impossible. I suffered from constant doubts and anxieties, always thinking that “people are going to judge me because I am going to say something stupid or wrong”.

Then, I was faced with a situation that required me to either speak up or go down a road that I did not want to. When I was about 22 years old, my parents began to discuss who they were going to find for me to marry, which is customary in India. The thought of having to spend my life with a stranger was the catalyst for me to finally choose to have courage, speak up and stand my ground. This experience proved that I could overcome shyness, voice what I wanted and that speaking up did not make my life worse. It empowered me to make it greater.

Now, a certified FAA Commercial Pilot, I have learnt that with determination and pragmatic tools, anyone can learn how to overcome shyness and find a more empowered self.

The key elements to overcoming shyness are:

1. Ending the self-criticism

Most shy people use judgment, self-criticism and self-doubt to stop themselves. This has to end.

Achieve this by: Replacing self-criticism with self-gratitude. Ask yourself if you are willing to be your best supporter instead of your harshest critic. Any time doubts or critical thoughts creep up, actively choose self-acknowledgment and self-gratitude instead. It takes practice, but if you commit to ending self-criticism for good, you will.

2. Take charge and choose what is right for you

Only you know what is right for you, so it has to be you that takes action. If you take charge and are clear about your goals, you will be amazed at who and what will show up to support you.

Ask yourself: “What do I truly want for my life and future, and what is one action that I can take today that brings me closer to that?”

3. Go beyond your comfort zone every day

There will be times when you think you can’t achieve something, or you are not sure if you can choose it. If you are willing to stretch yourself and be uncomfortable, these are often the moments when you will have a breakthrough and create more for yourself than you initially imagined.

4. Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know

Your unique way of understanding things is your greatest strength. You don’t have to learn everything from schools or experts.

My mother was a stay at home mum most of her life. One day she decided to start a business, even though she had never run one before. She knew she was good at persuading people, so she decided to pitch to a company to market their product. She hired professionals to help her create a pitch, which she pitched and got the account. Then she hired professionals to do the advertising for the product. Two years later she was running an advertising agency of her own with two offices.

Ask questions, learn as you go and hire other people. You don’t have to know everything to create what you know is possible.

5. Practice true leadership every day

A leader is not someone who has followers, controls everything, speaks the most or has all the solutions. True leaders empower themselves and others to create more. Leaders acknowledge the contributions of each team member. When people know you are invested in them, they will continue to contribute fresh ideas and energy.

Ask your team: “What is the question people should be asking you, that no one currently is?”

6. Commit to being yourself to the best of your ability

Be willing to know who you are, no matter how different from others that may be. Define success on your terms, give it your best and do whatever it takes to create what you desire. Validation doesn’t come from other people.

Ask yourself: “If I were truly me and there was no one else around, what would I choose?”

Overcoming shyness isn’t about magically feeling confident and never being uncomfortable or uncertain. It’s about being willing to do it anyway. Choose one bold step a day, and you will be surprised at how you can overcome shyness and make things happen!

About Smriti Goswami
Smriti Goswami is a communication mentor, life and business coach, and a certified facilitator of several Access Consciousness special programs. She is a certified FAA Commercial Pilot, experienced glider pilot and co-owner of Mumbai organisation, ArtEscapades. A committed advocate for women’s empowerment, she offers individual consultations and classes around the world, empowering people to think out of the box and follow their dreams. Find out more at Right Voice For You.

You can always come up with a reason why you should not speak up. Everyone has a past story or memory of a time they spoke up and it backfired, blew up in their face or just plain didn’t work out. But that doesn’t have to be your story now.

I’ve overcome shyness several times in life – first, by creating my translation (and first ever) business in my 40s; just being willing to talk to people and let them know I had a business took courage, as not everyone was supportive of my endeavor, and I had many opportunities to give into self-doubt. Even more challenging was a time I lost my physical voice after a surgery. I was diagnosed with vocal paralysis, which meant speaking became difficult, unpredictable and unreliable, my sounds coming out strangely and erratically, even after I underwent years of vocal therapy.

I could have given up and stayed hidden, but I made a different choice, and it led me to radically change and empower my voice in all areas of my life. Here are 6 ways I helped myself overcome shyness and find my true voice:

Make a commitment to you

It was only when I began to make a very different type of commitment to my voice – that of finding my true inner voice (no matter what occurred with occurred with my outer one!) – that I began a journey to successfully overcome the debilitating shyness, developing confidence and ease with speaking both out in the world and in my own life. Are you willing to acknowledge that you have the power to change this, and to make the commitment to you that you will have your voice?

Is that shyness really yours?

How much of the shyness you currently have going on are learned reactions and behaviors, as well as awareness of others around you? All of us have had an experience of walking into a room and sensing the mood in the room. When and in what situations does “shyness” come up for you the most?

If you’re willing to acknowledge that some shyness you’ve learned from others, and some parts are what you picked up from others around you in the moment, you can ask yourself, “So how much of the shyness I thought was mine, isn’t?” And if it’s possible a lot of it isn’t yours, how much confidence and ease do you actually have available that you’ve never acknowledged?

Recalibrate the negative self-talk

Self-doubts and criticisms keep shyness in place. When I started truly listening to my inner-dialogue with myself, I realized it was mostly negative. I was afraid to speak up and make a fool of myself, using that fear to withdraw.

I decided to challenge those fears. Whenever a negative thought come up, I made a conscious choice to stop believing it. I made a commitment that I was changing my point of view completely, and then employed different ways to replace the negative thoughts with an empowering alternative – such as kindness, gratitude, and self-acknowledgement.

Have gratitude for you

When your attention is on gratitude, judgments cannot stay in place. Gratitude is inherently empowering, while judgement is inherently disempowering. Choose gratitude for you and praise yourself for what you accomplish, what you are great at, what is different and unique about you. Everything in your life that you enjoy is there because you created it and chose to have it. Have you acknowledged that lately?

Ask a question

Every judgement we make against ourselves is like closing and locking a door to a tiny room. A question can open a door for you to see beyond that tiny room. One of my favorite questions is, “What’s right about me I am not getting?”

Negative self-talk focuses on making ourselves wrong. But if you ask, “What’s right?” you turn everything 180 degrees and can see yourself in a totally new light.

Trust your “Inner GPS”

A major component of shyness is holding onto self-doubt: the places where we have stopped (or never started) trusting ourselves. Trusting you and listening to your inner guidance system is one of our most potent allies. It may take a while to rebuild your self-trust, but it just takes practice. Trust isn’t about making the right choice, or having everything work out perfect, it is knowing that you can trust you to handle whatever comes.

Even when you have made a ‘bad’ choice, or something didn’t work out, how often have you landed on your feet? And the times when didn’t work out, where they also the times that you overrode yourself to listen to other people – whether it was taking a job, going on a date or buying that recommended brand when somewhere you knew it wasn’t going to work for you? Start practicing looking to yourself for the answers – ask, “What do I know about this?” “What is my sense of this situation?” and “What would work for me here?”  Put your own instincts back into the picture and give your inner voice a chance to be heard.


Creating the confidence and willingness to speak out beyond shyness truly is an “inside job”.  If you are willing to recalibrate and revolutionize the way you perceive and speak to yourself, the way you communicate and interact with the world around you will change naturally and come much more freely (and with a lot more joy!) as a result.

Norma Forastiere is a business mentor, natural therapist and certified facilitator of several Access Consciousness® special programs. A self-proclaimed seeker, Norma began practicing mediation at an early age and then went on to study metaphysics and several energy healing and natural therapy modalities. A native Portuguese speaker with a proficiency in English and Spanish, Norma offers workshops and consultations for those willing to explore greater possibilities in life, communication and business.

Upon entering a new leadership position, the skills that you have developed to attain your role may seem sufficient enough, however there are countless skills that you can refine to improve your leadership style. A greater emphasis on workplace diversity and inclusion, mental wellness and technology advancements has changed the communication and interactions between clients, partners and teams. As a result, leaders will need to be more flexible and develop a higher emotional intelligence to manage these changing workplace relationships. Here are seven transferable skills that you should develop to become a sustainably successful leader.

Taking initiative

As a leader, you will not simply just wait around and expect results to occur – you will take action! By taking initiative, not only are you pushing forward your team and yourself towards success, but also demonstrates your passion and effort. Set clear vision and mission statements of what you wish to achieve and set a path for your team to follow.

Display your company’s statements on a physical poster or on an online board that allows yourself and your team to be inspired to every morning they walk into the office. Set goals and objectives to achieve that vision without putting unnecessary pressure on your team. Ensure that your team is capable to take on new tasks that you are planning to set for them and that they agree with passion.

Taking initiative does not necessarily involve the simple delegation of tasks. Give the opportunity for your team to be creative and brainstorm new ideas that you can integrate into future projects. Use an online or physical pinboard to encourage your team to formulate ideas and topics through accumulated sticky notes.

Motivating others

Although you may be highly motivated and driven by your passions, you must also ensure that your team maintains the same drive. Motivate your team through demonstrating your enthusiasm for the project and achieving its goals. As the leader, you serve as the role model where your team will look to you as an example, as a person they compare against. Become the influence and aspiration for your team to reach higher goals.

Recognise your team’s individual capabilities and their combined strength as a team to take advantage of their strengths.  Provide your team with resources to remain motivated, sustain their engagement and be empowered to make their own decisions. Provide incentives such as healthy snacks in the office, allowing a pet-friendly environment or offering team sporting activities that can improve employee morale. Another great way to motivate your staff is to  award them of their achievements through recognition titles, trophies or stickers and paying your staff for what they are worth.


A critical skill that must be developed as a leader is knowing effective methods to handle and resolve conflicts. This issue may arise among team members, clients, partners or even between yourself  and a co-worker. The complexities of workplace conflict can be difficult to navigate, especially as they differ from workplace to workplace. Ensure to remain an impartial and unprejudiced actor by equally acknowledging all sides to the conflict.

Managing workplace relationships requires high EQ and is greatly required to be a successful leader within the team. You must first listen to both sides of the conflict as well as the comments of witnesses and other involved staff. Before making your own judgement, ask whether each party can suggest their own solutions to the issue. This is where you can then combine the needs of both sides and come to a mutually agreeable solution.

Management skills

 A leader requires various management skills that not only limits itself to scheduling. People and relationship management is another skill that is greatly required when leading work teams. Organisational skills are also critical to enabling effective leadership, specifically when completing tasks and project within a particular time frame. Develop your management style through taking an online course that will allow you to develop knowledge and skills on how to manage people to optimise performance within a team. Ensure that all your staff arrive to work at the specific times and that they will be able to makeup for the work time that has been lost if they have arrived late.

Depending on your business, you may choose to manage in a highly supervised and guided approach or rather allow your staff to take initiative of their own work. Regardless of the approach, ensure to allow your staff with flexibility in work times that align to their personal lives for them to work at their optimal capacity.

Learning attitude

Develop an attitude that allows you to continuously seek education and learn new things. By actively communicating with your team, you will be able to gain greater insight into the various perspectives, advantages and criticisms of the project. Ensure that you are continually striving to look for new ways to foster new ideas through being open to new opportunities and methods. Admitting to and learning from failures and weaknesses will enable continuous to improvement to success as a leader.

Another way to develop a learning attitude is by keeping updated with the latest industry news by actively sharing useful information to your team via email or workplace forums and encourage them to do the same. You may also invite your team to industry workshop panels, conferences and networking events.

Communication skills

It is important to be able to communicate thoughts both verbally and also through actions. Ensure that you effectively explain to your team about changes or new initiatives and keep them in the loop. Be transparent to develop trust and bond so your team can trust you and openly convey information and thoughts to you. Provide the opportunity for your staff to communicate to you through the avenues that they are most comfortable with expressing information and conveying ideas.

You can create a workplace chat group where you can foster ideas and discussion on an online platform. Communication and collaboration platforms such as Flock and Slack are effective online tools that can. An anonymous survey or question box is also helpful to express workplace concerns or issues. You can also learn greater communication skills by developing your skills outside of work. Take on team sports and take a leadership role, such as team captain to engage in teamwork and communication skills that are essential for both competitive sports and also in achieving effective workplace morale.

Positive attitude

A skill that is often overlooked is the ability to maintain a positive attitude. As a leader, you will experience stress and pressures from deadlines and expectations that can be overwhelming. However, a positive mental state and perspective will allow you to effectively progress from your current situation. Regular words of encouragement and praises to your team will boost your employee morale as well as productivity. In the event a team member seems to be struggling, rather than criticising, offer further support through development programs or training, to enable improvement. For a task that has been completed successfully, reward your team with an outing such as a work dinner and drinks or you may even have extra funds and splash out on a corporate cruise!


No matter which industry or context that you are leader, being empowered to become one is only the first step! Which skills are you looking to refine to become a successful leader?

Cassie Phillips is an experienced In-house Editor at Upskilled. With a background in online marketing, Jade runs some successful websites of her own. Her passion for the education industry and content is displayed through the quality of work she offers.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you work until every detail is ‘right’? Do you see mistakes as failures, or feel highly anxious when things aren’t working out exactly as you imagined?

Perfectionism is about judgement. We each have a set of standards that we live our life by; some of these standards we have chosen for ourselves but many others we have inherited or absorbed from family, peers and society. From these standards, we learn to judge ourselves and our adherence to these expectations: How did I perform? Where do I fit in the larger scheme of things? How do I compare to others, and to my own standards?

Perfectionism occurs when we forget to balance the striving for these standards with a healthy appreciation for mistakes, miscalculations and misfortune. When we choose to ignore the value of perceived ‘error’ and chase imaginary, ideal results, we make inevitable mistakes and missteps wrong – and make ourselves wrong in the process.

It’s easy to see, therefore, why chasing ‘perfection’ is potentially very limiting in terms of your capacity for joy, fulfilment and success. When functioning as a perfectionist, your mind becomes hyper-focused on the desired result and on every detail of your project or task. This draws you out of yourself and into the elements that you are desperately trying to control – elements, ironically, that are actually controlling you. You become a victim of external circumstances. In doing so, you lose the anchor within yourself, and limit both your personal power and your creativity.

The good news is that it is possible, with time, practice and a little self-nurturing, to liberate yourself from the grip of perfectionism.

The first step is to allow yourself to step out of judgment. It can be easy to see perfectionism as a wrongness in you, so an important step in liberating yourself from this condition is to start appreciating how your desire for perfection works for you. For instance, it is possible to see the determination and perseverance that underlies perfectionism. By appreciating these traits in yourself, the experience shifts from a desperate need to avoid mistakes into a scenario where mistakes work for you. When you ‘stumble’, you experience the mistake as feedback and learning, and draw upon your innate determination and perseverance to create something greater.

Next, turn your focus from being more perfect, to being more you. When you are trying to be perfect, you are chasing an ideal that exists outside of you and it is likely that you have rejected any personality trait, habit or instinct that you don’t believe fits this perfect model. Therefore, it’s vital to understand that it’s your foibles, your points of difference and your ‘weirdness’ that makes you most valuable to the world. When you’re imperfectly perfect, you’re you … and that means you’re constantly bringing something to the table that nobody else has to offer. You see things others don’t; you explore possibilities others won’t; you create solutions others can’t. By being you (especially the imperfect bits) you become a true contribution to the world and others around you.

Finally, and crucially, you must allow your mind to move out of limitation and hyper-focus and encourage it to see possibility in every experience. The most powerful way to do this, is by asking a question. When you ask a question, your mind begins to explore all the possibilities available. To be most effective, don’t look for an immediate answer. Let your mind stay in a state of ‘query’; searching, wondering, inquiring. And allow the possibilities to find their way to you.

If you are a perfectionist, effective questions to ask are:

“How can I use my desire for ‘betterment’ to my advantage in this situation?”

‘Better’ can be a judgment when it comes as a comparison, but if you choose to better yourself from the simple joy of creating greater, then it becomes a potent capacity. Rather than suffering in the limitation of trying to meet certain standards, this question empowers you to find joy in the experience of creating (and becoming) greater.

“What capacities of ‘never give up, never give in, never stop’ do I have, that I can acknowledge now?”

When things don’t work out the way you have envisioned them, don’t conclude that ‘it’s wrong, it’s never going to happen’, Instead, just keep going. See obstacles and mistakes as both feedback and a springboard to something greater. This question frees you to experience the inevitable bumps in the road without judgment. Importantly, perfectionism is often time-bound; you expect to get everything right, every time and on time. Asking this question allows you to remove yourself from any perceived time constraints and gives you the freedom to create your dreams and achieve your targets in whatever timeframe is required.

“How can I use this mistake to my advantage?”

This question is a powerful turn-around question that will take you, every time, from wrongness to strongness. It allows you to see what benefits you are gaining from any mistake or perceived failure. Vitally, it opens your mind to acknowledging and accepting the learnings and benefits from each ‘mistake’, ‘mishap’ and ‘failure’.

The irony of perfectionism is that it can close you off from becoming the very thing that perfectionists crave – to be the greatest version of you possible. When you are in a state of seeking perfection, you become so hyper-focused on the details, the control and the wrongness, that you miss vital opportunities to learn, expand and grow.

By stepping out of the judgment that underpins every perfectionist mindset, and by tapping into the possibility of questions, you can set can yourself free to enjoy life in all its messy, flawed and imperfect glory.

Susanna Mittermaier is a psychologist, psychotherapist and author of the #1 international bestselling book, “Pragmatic Psychology: Practical Tools for Being Crazy Happy.” She is a certified facilitator for Right Voice for You, a special program by Access Consciousness®. Susanna offers a new paradigm of therapy called Pragmatic Psychology and is known for her ability to transform people’s problems and difficulties into possibilities and powerful choices. Follow her on Twitter: @AccessSusanna.

Technology is wonderful. It has unlocked our imaginations and creativity in ways we never thought possible. However, while technology has helped society progress in many ways, it will soon reach a point of being less of an assistance resource and will become our own competition.

In 10 to 20 years, 40% of professional roles will gradually become irrelevant as technology and Artificial Intelligence (AI) get increasingly smarter and more human-like. So how can you shift yourself and your career to remain relevant in the changing workforce?

In this article we shine light on how creating a personal brand separate from a company’s will be crucial in standing out against the encumbering technology shift. We take you through four key steps to future-proof yourself in the evolving technology and AI workforce.

Brand yourself

Human work will never be fully replaced by technology. Instead, it will force employees to work in different ways. Where humans once stood at the forefront, technological changes could see us working alongside or behind the technology instead; controlling and monitoring it. Since the introduction of drones and robots, there has been talk that they will soon be used for fast food delivery and even mail delivery. While this would replace the need for people to personally deliver food, it would create more jobs in programming technology. On a more professional level, AI is being used as receptionists to book appointments and answer calls. While the mistakably human voice will replace the need for secretaries to answer phones, it could mean they will be required to take on new skills and tasks that AI is not yet able to do. With these impeding changes, it will become even more crucial for individuals to stand out and create a personal brand.

Tip: Think of the qualities you can offer that technology cannot replace. Adding skills such as adaptable, creative thinker, problem solver, strong communicator and interpersonal skills to your resume will exert a strong personal brand worth a company’s time and investment.


While technology already consumes numerous hours of the day, do not forget the significance of face-to-face communication, networking and collaborating in the workforce. Technology has the ability to hold hundreds and thousands of contacts but it is just that. A phonebook that will never replace the power of personal connections. Engage in these types of interactions to upskill, build connections and create your own black book of contacts.

Tip: Attend industry events, conferences and workshops to network and learn new things happening in the industry. 

Comparatively, collaboration does not always need to be face-to-face.

Tip: Join a credible online business hub or group that provide tutorials, workshops and expert assistance in the areas of business, finance, career, health and marketing. This will allow you to learn, grow and share from the comfort of your own desk. Change your mindset from competition to collaboration and as technology becomes smarter, the age old saying ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ will be more important than ever.

Make your assets digital

Making yourself resilient to the technology advancements in the workforce does not mean becoming anti-technology. Instead, it’s imperative to be active and comfortable with technology platforms to increase your credibility and give you a competitive edge.

Tip: Complete credible short online courses to enhance your personal brand and professional portfolio.

This shows employers that you are proactive and willing to hone skills that may not be perfect or known as of yet. An employee that is willing to learn will be more valuable to a company than one that thinks they already know it all. A great way to showcase courses, skills and knowledge is to make your personal brand digital.

Tip: Use a website to showcase design, art or writing skills and make sure the homepage of the website tells employers exactly what you want them to know about you. It is also a great idea to have a tab with your resume to list courses and qualifications. Link your social media accounts to the website and carry the theme of your website through these mediums. Consistency makes a strong personal brand.

Create an impression through your appearance

The final step to creating a personal brand is to project it externally through a distinctive style and fashion. It is a known fact that people are more reactive to visual creative expressions. While technology such as robots and AI is extremely impressive, it does not generally get its ‘wow factor’ from its appearance.

Tip: Ensure your style strengthens your personal brand and exerts confidence and charisma. If you work in a corporate environment don’t opt for the classic black and white pant suit. Show that you are adaptable and creative by adding a colour that best represents you. Think of what you want to be remembered for in an interview. Will you be the person with red hair, the individual with exquisite glasses or will you be known for your statement jewellery? If you don’t yet know what your statement image is, undertake a personal styling session or look for inspiration from role models in your industry.

Scarlett Vespa, ‘The Brand Shifter’, is the Founder of the Mrs V personal brand transformation and the collaboration hub Mrs V Society. Scarlett’s passion is to empower executives, entrepreneurs and small business owners to ensure their career is successful and resilient in the workforce. She creates personal brands that reignite the passion and life that is lacking in an individual’s career.  For more information on Scarlett Vespa:

The first time I experienced workplace bullying, it took me about 6 months to recognise it. I’d always see the best in people and would rather blame or doubt myself than believe somebody was purposely trying to undermine my self-confidence. When I finally realised what was happening, I got really mad – at myself. I completely bought into what the bully said and did, but worse, I had become the biggest bully in my life – where they left off, I took over – and amplified it for good measure!

To make myself bully-proof, I knew I had to recalibrate and stop giving myself up, shutting myself down, doubting myself or making someone else’s judgments more valuable than me.

I wondered what it would take to enjoy being me so much that I never again cared about what other people thought, said or did? Could I end bullying without becoming angry, jaded or cynical? I wanted a kinder world, and I realised, it had to start with me being kinder to me.

Here are my tips for becoming bully proof at work and in the world, and never letting anyone or anything stop you!

Choose to be happy

Happiness is powerful. Imagine never giving up your happiness, no matter what occurs? How much power would a bully have then? None! If they are having no effect, would a bully continue? Not for long. As Eleanor Roosevelt so famously put it: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

And as my mentor, Gary Douglas, succinctly says, “Happiness is just a choice.” No one can make you unhappy. The choice is always yours. Practice choosing happy. Literally say: “For the next 10 seconds I choose to be happy.” If you really get stuck, ask someone under the age of 9 about how to get happy and they’ll give you plenty of ideas.

Don’t fixate, out-create

Fixating is how you trap yourself in a mental stranglehold. When we feel trapped, we give ourselves two choices – fight (react) or flight (avoid) – neither of which are empowering. What if you out-created rather than fixated? Out-creating is where you allow yourself to see easy and elegant ways of dealing with things without going into reaction or getting upset. Anytime you catch yourself fixating, reacting or avoiding a bully, ask, “How can I out-create this with ease?”

Bullies need something to push against, and the energy of your avoidance or reaction is exactly what they are seeking. When you do out-creation, there is no longer a wall of energy for them to feed off and they have nowhere to go.

Cut out self-judgment

This might be the moment you take to ask yourself, “Who really is the biggest bully in my life?” After all, we really are our own greatest critics. If you truly desire to change bullying in the world – change you first. Empower you. Stop assuming and believing that you are wrong. It might seem like an impossible habit to break, but I know you can and I have some tools to help.

First: Gratitude.  Gratitude and judgment cannot co-exist.
Second: Acknowledgement. Look at how awesome you are and what you have created in your life.
Third: Wonder about what else is awesome about you that you can choose to be in the world.

Ask these three questions every day, several times a day:

  • What am I grateful for about me?
  • What is right about me that I am not getting?
  • What am I capable of that no one else is?

Add more to your life that allows you to be you

To steal another quote from my mentor, “The purpose of life is to have fun. Are you having any?” What creative pursuits, hobbies, or interests can you add to make life more fun? How many more ways can you enjoy being you and expressing yourself?

Bullies get their kicks from making you feel wrong for being you. But what is the value of a bully’s opinion in the face of a life deeply enjoyed?  You guessed it – nothing!  Enjoy being you, have fun. You’ll soon realise it isn’t worth giving up being you for anyone or anything.

Get out of your comfort zone

Bullies pick on difference. Why is this? Because that difference is exactly what is great about you that they don’t want you to be and probably feel threatened by. If you are willing to stretch out of your comfort zone, you will begin to embrace your difference, rather than hide it. You will discover more capacities and ways for you to thrive.

When you turn up your difference in the face of bullies, you also inspire others to do the same. Ask yourself, “What difference can I choose to be today that I haven’t chosen before?

Nurture your body

Are you kind to your body, or do you judge it? Oops! Time to change that? Being judged or bullied doesn’t work for you and it definitely doesn’t work for your body. Start taking one hour daily and one day a week to nurture your body. Use this time to reconnect, have gratitude for your body and most importantly, enjoy your body.

The nurturing you give your body, it will give back to you tenfold. You could even go through all questions and tools in this article and apply them to your relationship with your body. I wonder what that would create?

Do things you think you can’t

One of the greatest bullying tactics we use against us is, “I can’t”. A great trick to get yourself out of the habit is to ask a friend (someone who truly has your back) to say, “You are right, you can’t,” any time you say, “I can’t”. Try it out and notice how often you think, “Shut up, yes I can!” It’s shameless, simple reverse psychology and dynamically effective.

The other thing you can do is ask yourself daily, “What can I do that no one else can?” and then just try something. Have an adventure. Say yes and know that you’ll figure out the rest!

Be honest with yourself about what you desire

Most of us don’t grow up being encouraged to create our lives as we would like, beyond outside influence. We are taught what’s normal and appropriate and how to create our lives based on other people’s expectations and ideals. What if you were the one who finally asked you, “If I could choose anything, what would I choose?” and “What would I like my life to be like?” If you’re willing to be honest and vulnerable with yourself about what you truly desire to create in the world, your true voice will always shine through.


A workplace can be one of many places where you get to enjoy and explore being you and using your capacities to create what you know is possible. Bullies may try to stop you, but are you truly stoppable? When you commit to embracing and enjoying all that is great about being you in the world, bullies will become very insignificant players in the awesome tapestry of your life.

Amanda Holland is a freelancer who works with businesses, companies, entrepreneurs, experts and thought-leaders across the globe. When she realised that her childhood dreams of becoming a modern day Indiana Jones were more exciting in her head than in reality, she decided to go on an adventure and work in a city where she didn’t speak the language – Kobe, Japan. After returning to Australia, Amanda became a Right Voice for You facilitator, a specialty program from personal development organisation Access Consciousness.