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The Number 1 Barrier to Self Confidence

by Glenise Anderson on November 7, 2012

Are there many barriers to Self Confidence? Absolutely!  But let me tell you, master the #1 barrier to Self Confidence and you have laid the foundations to a very happy and successful life.

Do the others matter? Sure they do and without a doubt you should work on those along the way.  The negative self talk, the floating along like a jellyfish not knowing what you want to do with your life, or the immense overwhelm you feel because there’s so much to do and so little time to do it.  All of these can be addressed one by one by learning and practicing the skills needed.

Have you ever walked out of a difficult meeting and felt sick.?  Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with a customer service person over the phone and slammed the receiver down in fury! Oh, and what about an argument with a loved one?

How often have these things happened to you and afterwards you’ve noticed your self-confidence is shaken a little or perhaps even a lot!

You may even play the scenario over and over in your head – a little like poking your tongue into a toothache just to see if it still hurts.  The thing is though, you play it over and over listening to the content but not looking at the context.

It’s in the context where the #1 barrier to self confidence hides.  Once identified, it’s like an ‘ah ha!’ moment.  Once identified, you’ll find the #1 barrier has no place in your life and it’s not negotiable.

Nail this one and you’ll sleep soundly at night.  No matter what happens, you know you’ll be able to hold your head high.  How does that sound?  Is that how you would like to feel each and every day?

So what is the #1 Barrier to Self Confidence?  The one thing, which could change your life, if you’re willing to do it?

RESPECT.  That’s right R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Respect for yourself and Respect for others.  It’s also called Living above the Line.  Ensuring that every conversation you have with yourself or others is kind, thoughtful and empathic.

I know it’s hard to stay respectful when under pressure but there’s a saying, which goes “When emotions are high, intelligence is low”, and how true is that.  We see it time and again, in ourselves and in others.

At the end of the day, when we find ourselves dipping ‘below the line’ having disrespectful conversations (even in our heads), a little bit of our self confidence is chipped away.

The good thing about all this is … now you know what the #1 barrier to Self Confidence is and you can choose how you want to live the rest of your life.

As we say at Self Confident Women – “The future is in great hands… Your Own”.

Until next time.

Glenise Anderson

Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life

Top Image: Credit

Glenise Anderson
Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life through mentoring, on-line programs & workshops. She is the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with behavioural profiling for recruitment and team building , coaching, training and technical writing.
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