So after you’ve nailed that first impression, it’s time to develop your communication skills to keep the relationship going with the people you’re interested in getting to know better.
How often have you kicked yourself after reacting badly during a conversation?
Steven R. Covey said “It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond, that hurts us” and how true is that? How often have you kicked yourself after reacting badly during a conversation? I know I have.
Until I learned more about behavioural profiling, I used to get very frustrated when I used to mess up a conversation. Sometimes I couldn’t understand why, after I finished speaking, the recipient looked totally blank! Luckily now I know a lot more about myself and more about what makes other people tick. Do I still get it wrong? Absolutely, but at least I usually know what I’ve done and can do better next time.
Here’s a few general tips about different styles of people and how you can communicate with them:
1. That larger than life character who often speaks loudly and often pretty bluntly – imagine someone like Kerry Packer or Jeff Kennett. Firstly don’t take their bluntness personally. Take interest in what they have to say and make sure you are direct in your conversation back to them. I don’t mean rude (whether they are or not), just straight to the point.
2.The chatty person who speaks really quickly, particularly when they excited (that’s me) – well we’re big picture people, so don’t overload us with detail and keep it positive or we’ll vanish into thin air! Rove McManus and Steve Irwin are good examples here.
3. The Shy type – you’ll often see them on their own and they’re pretty calm and quietly spoken. They like logic and certainty, so make sure you follow a logical order when you’re chatting to them and provide examples of how things have worked before. Mother Teresa and Gandhi were these types of people.
4. The number cruncher – they love policies and procedures and are very deliberate and careful decision makers. The giveaway here is they are reserved and often have long pauses in their conversations while they’re processing information. Make sure you slow down your conversation and listen very carefully to what they have do say. Certainly don’t expect any snap decisions from them. If you ever watched the TV show Frasier – the character Niles was this sort of person, as was Andy Warhol.
So there’s a few quick tips to help you on your way to better communication, but remember it takes all types to make the world go round and usually it’s how you respond to what happens that counts.
Image credit: melodi2
Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women – a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life and Director of SR Group who offer coaching, training, psychometric testing and technical writing into the corporate sector.