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6 tips to banish self-doubt and live with confidence and authority

by Guest on July 7, 2015

How many opportunities have you lost because you doubted yourself? You doubted that people might not support you, you doubted that you were not good enough and you doubted that your personal story wasn’t relevant?

Self-doubt is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.”

I spent a decade working in a corporate world believing that I should keep opinions to myself because it was so easy to become the least favourite person in the department. And then when I started my global coaching business, I realised that life is a much bigger department to play in and I will disappear like a small pebble in the ocean if I don’t believe in myself.

We live on ‘what ifs’. What if they don’t agree? What if I piss them off? What if it doesn’t work out? What if they don’t like me? What if I fail? What if I say the wrong thing?

What’s the right thing anyway? The right thing is when I say what I believe in. The right thing is when I stand my ground and speak my truth. The right thing is when I banish that self-doubt and walk with my head held high exuding confidence from every inch of my being.

Easier said than done.

But I have great news. We can rewire our brain, literally. It starts with conscious effort but it becomes automatic just like riding a bike or learning how to drive.

So here are 6 tips to banish self-doubt and live with confidence and authority.

1. Language

The words that we use have massive impact on how we feel. Words start with thoughts and when we say them out loud, it confirms what we’re feeling inside. So start noticing the words or the language that you use, like “I don’t think I can”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not as good as”, “I’ll never be able to”. Whenever you catch yourself saying them, say the opposite. Put conscious effort at first and train your brain. Over time it will become automatic.

The words that we use have massive impact on how we feel.

2. Recall your past successes

Whatever you succeeded in the past, what did you do? How did you do it? What made you want to succeed?

It doesn’t have to be the same thing but those are the same resources that you have within yourself that you can reuse to create a different kind of success. Maybe it was perseverance, maybe it was your stubbornness or maybe you made that one non-negotiable that failure wasn’t an option.

3. Connect with the right people

When we’re building our life or our business, we need to surround ourselves with the right people who share similar vibrations, vision, passion and purpose who will support you, guide you and lift you up when you’re down.

It’s also about adapting to a different ecosystem to survive and thrive. Sometimes family and friends want to support us but when they are not on the same journey, their best intentions can actually counteract. Imagine soldiers coming back from war. They find it hard to adapt and connect with people from home, simply because they were on a different journey.

Sometimes family and friends want to support us but when they are not on the same journey, their best intentions can actually counteract.

We are women warriors in life too. That’s why I created a Facebook community called League of Women Entrepreneurs group so we can inspire and support each other.

4. Focus on results

Don’t lose sight of your vision. What is your vision? What are you ultimately trying to achieve? What does mean to you to have achieved your visions? How would turning your visions into reality transform your life or business?

Think about going to a gym; if you’re thinking of having to drive a long way, change, do those strenuous exercise and work with that painful PT, you’re not going to want to work out. But when you thinking of claiming your health back or even getting that beach body, it gives you the incentive and motivation to work out. When you’re pumped about the results, you forget about the doubt.

5. Fail forward

When you fail, fail forward. I believe that failure is part of the learning curve. In fact, there’s no failure only feedback. When you do something, do it whole-heartedly. When you fail, fail whole-heartedly.

When you do something, do it whole-heartedly. When you fail, fail whole-heartedly.

In life, it’s about being consistently consistent. I see so many people throw a pebble half-heartedly into the ocean. When people don’t notice, they give up. Some would throw again, still half-heartedly. This time they would say they’ve tried, many times, but nobody bothers.

It’s about reviewing how did you throw? How much strength did you put in? Where did you aim? Who was there to notice? May be it wasn’t about you. May be they were busy. So go back and keep throwing or find a different spot where it’s more crowded.

6. Visualise

Being a very practical person, visualisation sounded airy-fairy to me at first. But I became an advocate for visualisation after I learned why and how. Visualisation is about getting comfortable in the new reality. Making the new reality the new normal. It’s the rehearsal of the future situation so when it’s time, we’re ready to live it.

Imagine how your life would transform if you don’t doubt yourself? What would it mean to you if you were to believe that there’s nothing you can’t do? What would it look like? Visualise it. Put yourself in the future situation as if it’s happening now.

So there you go – practical steps to help you eliminate self-doubt. What do you think? How has it helped you?

Arabelle YeeArabelle Yee is a leading Business Psychology & Strategy Coach working with start-up women entrepreneurs from all over the world helping them master the psychology and strategy of building a thriving business in 90 days. She’s a go-giver who believes in making a difference in the world. She has a space called Collective Alchemy where you can get access to interviews with experts, podcasts and free trainings. 
 
When she’s not coaching, she’s either meditating, writing, reading or out in the nature with her dog. For more information, visit www.thecalmedge.com or connect with her on Facebook.

 

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