Of course it’s very important to get the “First Impression” right but really, life is about developing relationships, isn’t it?

So after you’ve nailed that first impression, it’s time to develop your communication skills to keep the relationship going with the people you’re interested in getting to know better.How often have you kicked yourself after reacting badly during a conversation?

Steven R. Covey said “It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond, that hurts us” and how true is that?  How often have you kicked yourself after reacting badly during a conversation?  I know I have.

Until I learned more about behavioural profiling, I used to get very frustrated when I used to mess up a conversation.  Sometimes I couldn’t understand why, after I finished speaking, the recipient looked totally blank!  Luckily now I know a lot more about myself and more about what makes other people tick.  Do I still get it wrong? Absolutely, but at least I usually know what I’ve done and can do better next time.

Here’s a few general tips about different styles of people and how you can communicate with them:

1. That larger than life character who often speaks loudly and often pretty bluntly – imagine someone like Kerry Packer or Jeff Kennett.  Firstly don’t take their bluntness personally.  Take interest in what they have to say and make sure you are direct in your conversation back to them.  I don’t mean rude (whether they are or not), just straight to the point.

2.The chatty person who speaks really quickly, particularly when they excited (that’s me) – well we’re big picture people, so don’t overload us with detail and keep it positive or we’ll vanish into thin air!  Rove McManus and Steve Irwin are good examples here.

3. The Shy type – you’ll often see them on their own and they’re pretty calm and quietly spoken.  They like logic and certainty, so make sure you follow a logical order when you’re chatting to them and provide examples of how things have worked before.  Mother Teresa and Gandhi were these types of people.

4. The number cruncher – they love policies and procedures and are very deliberate and careful decision makers.  The giveaway here is they are reserved and often have long pauses in their conversations while they’re processing information.  Make sure you slow down your conversation and listen very carefully to what they have do say.  Certainly don’t expect any snap decisions from them.  If you ever watched the TV show Frasier – the character Niles was this sort of person, as was Andy Warhol.

So there’s a few quick tips to help you on your way to better communication, but remember it takes all types to make the world go round and usually it’s how you respond to what happens that counts.

Image credit: melodi2

Glenise Anderson
Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women –  a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life and Director of SR Group  who offer coaching, training, psychometric testing and technical writing into the corporate sector.


Over the years I’ve worked with companies who have been touched with the toxic work culture bug.  Sometimes I’ve been an employee and at other times, I’ve been in there as a consultant helping to sort it out.  It’s a terrible situation for everyone involved because ultimately it’s not a happy time. I’m sure you have heard the horror stories or perhaps you have worked for a company where you feel sick about turning up for work each morning.

Whether it’s a cultural issue which runs through the whole company, or  just in a department or two, you don’t want to be involved in it. Toxicity is contagious! If you stand too close, it rubs off onto you before you know it.Toxicity is contagious! If you stand too close, it rubs off onto you before you know it

Culture, good or bad, is rolled out and led from the top.  You will see the comments and beliefs of senior management reflected in the employees. In an ideal world,  from the CEO down, the leaders will ‘walk their talk’ and  strong Vision and Values  statements will be used as the platform.  But in reality, it’s not often how it works.

Before we go into the easy steps you can take not to catch the toxicity bug, let’s investigate a little more about what the great companies do. In successful companies, every single person in the company will ‘walk their talk’.  It’s not only a ‘top down’ but also a ‘bottom up’ approach. Everyone will be on board with the Vision and Values and feel accountable and responsible for themselves and their roles.  You’ll find the employees highly productive and engaged.

So what’s next for you?

If you ultimately like the company you work with but don’t like some of the things that are happening, here’s 4 steps you can take to make a difference.

1. Do not get involved in gossiping about others and do not condone it.  I have often walked past unacceptable conversations, interrupted and said “That’s an unkind thing to say”.  It tends to be a conversation stopper.
2. Live by the 3 R’s – Respect yourself; Respect others and take Responsibility for your actions.
3. Be part of the Solution –  Do not complain about something you don’t like.  Be proactive about speaking up and make sure you always take a solution to the table.
4. Walk your Talk – accept the only person you can control is yourself, so lead by example.

As Mahatma Gandhi said “You must be the change you want to see happen”.

Have you experienced a toxic work culture?  How did you handle it?

Glenise Anderson

Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life


I recently finished creating a one-day workshop delivering a 5 step system on how to Employ and Engage Women in Low Diversity Environments and was amazed at how many comments or new research were coming into my inbox almost daily.  It was really hard to keep up at times! Fiona Smith’s comment “Organisations need to come to grips with the impact of family on workplaces.  It’s not a ‘women’s issue’, it’s a societal issue” is so very true.

I acknowledge that a few companies are doing a great job and really paving the way, however I’m constantly amazed and frustrated that progress is so slow with the majority of businesses.  Putting aside the issue of promoting women into leadership positions, the cultural change needed to becoming flexible enough for women to consider coming back to work doesn’t seem to have progressed at all.

With so many talented women wanting to return to work after having their children, it seems flexible options keep getting put in the too hard basket and so, often these women choose to stay at home.

Opening your own business is a challenging and wonderfully rewarding thing to do.  But equally, it can be soul destroying for those who fail and the flow-on effect can be a loss of confidence impacting on the next job search.

Opening your own business is, of course, an option and many women now create their own businesses so they can work around family commitments.  Opening your own business is a challenging and wonderfully rewarding thing to do.  But equally, it can be soul destroying for those who fail and the flow-on effect can be a loss of confidence impacting on the next job search. So, if you would like to encourage more women into your workplace – here’s a few tips.

Tips to encourage more women into your workplace

If you are in a leadership position:

  • Ensure you mentor another woman in your company
  • Lobby for flexible working hours – studies show it increases productivity
  • Think global and act local – don’t wait for the government to bring in change.  Can you influence changes in policy within your company?
  • Is salary sacrificing childcare something your company can initiate to encourage more women into your workplace?  Are there other options around childcare?

As an employee:

  • Proactively speak up about what you would like to see happen in your workplace
  • If you love where you work, actively encourage more women to join
  • Support other women at all levels of the organisation to create a happier environment.  Statistics show that individuals who are happy at work are more energised, get sick less often, are more motivated, are more confident and have more belief in their potential.  Who wouldn’t want that?

In one study I was reading, it stated “Women may be inherently better at Influence, Trust, Collaboration, Negotiation and Team Building – so if your company is lacking these skills, perhaps employing more women is the answer!

As Helen Conway said “We need to bring about cultural change so that flexible work arrangements and flexible careers are seen as the norm”.

I believe, “We” means you and me.  So I encourage you to get on board and do your bit to assist and encourage more women back into the workplace.

Glenise Anderson

Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women and Director of SR Group, training and development companies delivering personal development options to individual women and companies around the world.

Top image: credit


Women around the world turn themselves inside out trying to be all things to all people. Striving to be a great employee; a kind and loving partner; a mother who can deliver everything to their children which they did (or perhaps did not) have while growing up.

This quest for perfection is time-consuming, exhausting and quite frankly, pointless.

Believe it or not, there is no such thing as perfection, it’s like beauty – in the eye of the beholder. Let me give you an example: At work you may toil tirelessly at a report until you feel it is ‘perfect’, only to find out that it’s not quite what your boss wanted at all and needs to be revised a little.

Be realistic and kind to yourself. Do the very best you can … in the time allocated. Don’t keep going over and over information, putting at risk the next important task to be completed. So Key #1 – Let go of the need for perfection.

Key #2 – Identify your strengths and focus on them. Statistics prove that those who work in careers using their strengths, most of the time, are more productive and far happier. Statistics prove that those who work in careers using their strengths, most of the time, are more productive and far happier Don’t know how to work out what you’re good at? There’s a few ways – we use Extended Disc, however, there’s a multitude of other Psychometric tests out there to try you can use; or if you’re looking for a really simple way – as a rule of thumb whatever you do which gives you great pleasure or satisfaction while you’re doing that task (work or pleasure), if the time just flies by and in the end you still feel energised and happy, then that’s a strength!

Key #3 – Take control of your own career. You need to become very clear on what you need to do to create the life that suits you and your circumstances. If it needs to include flexible hours, then approach your employer. Just because they may not offer flexible hours at present, does not mean they won’t consider it when asked. Only you can decide what is important to you and only you can make it happen. If you are a working mother, this must include having a ‘wingman’ or two. It could be your partner, family or reliable friends who you can call on if something goes pear-shaped! And trust me, that’s what life’s about, managing the peaks and troughs.

Key #4 – Ensure you have downtime. Unless you make time for yourself, you can’t give to others. You owe it to yourself, your family, friends and/or work colleagues to stay healthy, well and happy. Whatever helps with your health and wellbeing whether it be baths, facials, playing music, reading, walking alone on the beach – make it a non-negotiable priority!

So there you have it – use these four steps and you can create a life of Happiness and Success uniquely tailored to your circumstances.

Glenise Anderson

Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life.

Featured image: Taylor Dawn Fortune


I’ve been asked to run some one day workshops around Australia in 2013 on “Employing and Engaging Women in Low Diversity Environments”.  So as you can imagine I’ve been thinking a lot about diversity lately.

The focus is on male dominated industries – the resources sector, transport, perhaps even trades.  Although low diversity environments could actually be senior management roles or even on positions in boards – they’re all very topical at present especially given the recent EOWA statistics. Diversity is an interesting subject because we usually think about it in terms of women or the lack thereof, it can also encompass other areas such as religion or race. So I believe it’s not just about gender.

When we think about gender diversity, it’s usually in relation to women. Looking at the flipside of it, low-diversity environments for men are roles traditionally undertaken by women. Hairdressing, aged care; nursing, executive assistants and what about ‘at home dads’, of which my brother was one.  Although you see more and more men entering these arenas, I’m sure they at times suffer from the same issues.

The bottom line is, no matter who the person is or the role they play in life, we should follow some basic rules that apply to everyone:

  • Treat everyone with respect.  No matter what they do or say, be the bigger person by not engaging poorly. You don’t know and may never know what’s happening in their life.
  • Remember every time you speak badly to someone, it reflects upon you and not them.
  • In every conversation, aim for a win/win outcome. When you walk away, ensure you both feel good.  Even if the conversation is a tough one, words can be delivered in such a way that the other person doesn’t feel belittled.

Follow these few simple tips and there is no doubt the world would be a better place and really, isn’t that what we’re all striving for?

Throwing in one more tip for good luck… if you’re going to an interview, ‘Be yourself and not who you think they are looking for’.  Employers are looking for the person who will ‘fit’ within their organisation.  If you want to be happy in your job – show your authentic self from the beginning and then everyone knows where they stand.

Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life.

Top image: credit


Are there many barriers to Self Confidence? Absolutely!  But let me tell you, master the #1 barrier to Self Confidence and you have laid the foundations to a very happy and successful life.

Do the others matter? Sure they do and without a doubt you should work on those along the way.  The negative self talk, the floating along like a jellyfish not knowing what you want to do with your life, or the immense overwhelm you feel because there’s so much to do and so little time to do it.  All of these can be addressed one by one by learning and practicing the skills needed.

Have you ever walked out of a difficult meeting and felt sick.?  Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with a customer service person over the phone and slammed the receiver down in fury! Oh, and what about an argument with a loved one?

How often have these things happened to you and afterwards you’ve noticed your self-confidence is shaken a little or perhaps even a lot!

You may even play the scenario over and over in your head – a little like poking your tongue into a toothache just to see if it still hurts.  The thing is though, you play it over and over listening to the content but not looking at the context.

It’s in the context where the #1 barrier to self confidence hides.  Once identified, it’s like an ‘ah ha!’ moment.  Once identified, you’ll find the #1 barrier has no place in your life and it’s not negotiable.

Nail this one and you’ll sleep soundly at night.  No matter what happens, you know you’ll be able to hold your head high.  How does that sound?  Is that how you would like to feel each and every day?

So what is the #1 Barrier to Self Confidence?  The one thing, which could change your life, if you’re willing to do it?

RESPECT.  That’s right R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Respect for yourself and Respect for others.  It’s also called Living above the Line.  Ensuring that every conversation you have with yourself or others is kind, thoughtful and empathic.

I know it’s hard to stay respectful when under pressure but there’s a saying, which goes “When emotions are high, intelligence is low”, and how true is that.  We see it time and again, in ourselves and in others.

At the end of the day, when we find ourselves dipping ‘below the line’ having disrespectful conversations (even in our heads), a little bit of our self confidence is chipped away.

The good thing about all this is … now you know what the #1 barrier to Self Confidence is and you can choose how you want to live the rest of your life.

As we say at Self Confident Women – “The future is in great hands… Your Own”.

Until next time.

Glenise Anderson

Glenise Anderson is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life  http://www.selfconfidentwomen.com.au

Top Image: Credit