“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment” Lao Tzu

One of the upsides of being a Behavioural Profiling Consultant is not only do I learn about how others tick, I learn lots about myself.  I have learnt why I do things, what I’m good at and not so good at, and, more importantly, what I need to do to improve in those areas where I feel I need to develop.

I now understand why I’m so tired when doing particular tasks (and it’s not because I had a late night!) and why, at other times, I’m in the groove and kicking goals left, right and centre.

So I thought I would share with you a few tips on how to develop yourself in areas you feel you’re not so strong in but would like to be.  I’m a spontaneous, gut-feel, big-picture person and at times have trouble with detailed work, so let’s start there.

To be more detailed:

  • Read philosophy, history and other books explaining logical processes
  • Collect all possible data relating to every task you do and every decision you need to make
  • When ready to make a decision, delay making it till tomorrow
  • Go back in time and analyse why things happened

To be more outgoing:

  • Do something new at least once a week, like go to a totally new social environment, or wear something colourful and new
  • Regularly change things in your office
  • Make an effort to call at least three new people every day
  • In large social gatherings, force yourself to start discussions of new topics and try to discuss with every participant
  • Make your daily habits include as little routines as possible
  • Make sure people, no matter where you are, notice you
  • Ask your colleagues to give you topics of which you need to make a 5 minute speech

To be more forthright:

  • Continuously learn new and practical ways of doing things. Select anything you like as long as it is useful and goal-oriented.  It doesn’t matter if you have no idea how you should do it.
  • In meetings, focus on agenda and meeting goals.  Make yourself a rule that you never leave a meeting room without an action plan for you and the rest of the participants.  The plan needs to be concrete and include a schedule.
  • Seek out situations when you can exercise these new ways of doing things – do not just plan – do.
  • Observe the positive side of forthright people and repeat what they did
  • Ask for feedback from these people.

To be more calm and steady:

  • Keep a diary and make notes at the end of each day of what happened
  • After each meeting, review all the material & topics covered
  • Spend long periods in meetings without participating, just listening
  • Try to learn at least two possible risk factors in every new idea
  • Try not to show excitement when you get excited about something
  • Always come up with at least one optional plan
  • Make an effort to do things as others ask you to do them

I’m a great one to say, focus on your strengths and outsource your weaknesses where possible.  You might need to adjust your management style depending on the situation. But sometimes you just need to improve your skills in particular areas – either to do the work yourself or understand how other people tick.

Good luck and let me know how you go.

Featured Photo Credit: Kris Krug via Compfight cc

Glenise-Anderson-bio-image-Leaders-in-HeelsGlenise Anderson
Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with coaching, training and technical writing.

 Download the 8 Fail Safe Tips to Self Confidence FREE from her website at www.selfconfidentwomen.com.au

 

 


“I am in competition with no-one.  I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone else.  I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.”

It saddens me when I hear that along with the challenges we face as women in business, that we are not supporting each other as well as we could.

They say that the best leaders empower and develop the people around them.  If that’s the criteria then in fact, no matter our role in life, we all have the potential to be a leader.  It’s our choice about how great a leader we want to become.

So let’s look at four reasons why you should support other women:

1.  It Helps Move Them To The Next Level

If a friend or colleague mentions to you they want to achieve something – help them do it.  Listen to their dream and work out where you help, can you suggest a book or introduce them to someone.  Don’t forget to encourage those you see with more potential. They may be lacking confidence (as so many of us do) –  take a moment to sit down and see how you can help them develop.

2.  It Helps You Move to the Next Level

With every person you help, you develop into a better person.  It increases your communication skills and stretches you to think of creative ideas to ensure whoever you assist is pushed outside their comfort zone.  The next level for everyone is outside the comfort zone.

3.  It Feels Good

As selfish as it sounds, any form of contribution makes you feel good.  As much as you give, you receive back.

4. It’s the right thing to do

And ultimately, you shouldn’t need a reason.  It’s the right thing to do to support other women to move into areas where they feel more fulfilled.  It creates happier workplaces and happier homes and those are the environments where amazing things can happen.

Supporting Dress for Success

One of the initiatives for my business is to help Dress for Success, a not-for-profit organisation assisting disadvantaged women to get back into the workplace.  We are currently advertising on the LiH homepage that we will donate 50% of the proceeds from the sales of our confidence booster program “How to be a Confident Chick“.  This 31 day campaign comprises of positive, motivation emails to help women increase their confidence levels.  If you or someone you know, would like to gain more confidence – consider purchasing our $10 program and support Dress for Success.  Click on our advertisement on the LiH home page or click here – make sure you use use code DFSBCC14 to ensure Dress for Success benefit.
photo credit: Chris JL via photopin cc

Glenise Anderson
Glenise  is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with coaching, training and technical writing.


Over the last few weeks I’ve been asked to present to groups of Year 9-12 girls. The conversations embraced what Confidence means, what it doesn’t mean, bullying, social media and everything in-between.

The conversations were interactive, lively, enlightening and at times brutally honest, particularly around bullying. There were an alarming number of girls who had been bullied at previous schools; when they reported it to parents, teachers and/or police they were ignored. That fact alone is terribly sad and totally unacceptable.

All of the topics we discussed were as equally relevant to adults as they were to teenagers. With that in mind, I’ve decided to share some of them with you. Follow these five steps and you will never wonder if you are living an authentic life, because you will be.

Passion

Put as much enthusiasm as you can into everything you do. Do things you are passionate about and surround yourselves with others who are passionate about what they do. The whole fabric of your life will change when you find something you love doing. But always remember “Follow your heart but take your brain with you”.

Bullying

“The greatest tragedy in life is when good people look the other way”.

If you see someone being bullied, do something about it – do not look the other way. People being bullied rarely like to draw more attention to themselves. Step in, report it, do whatever needs to be done and don’t let the issue go until it’s dealt with.

Social Media

“When emotions are high, intelligence is low”.

If you are having a bad day, step away from the computer! With over 55% of employers checking Facebook sites before they decide to interview you, your reputation may depend on that one smart decision not to go online.

Decision Making

Ben Roberts-Smith recently said, “Make the right decision because it’s right, not because it’s easy”.

There are many ways you can come to a decision, you weigh up the pros and cons, ask people their opinion and probably do research but in the end there is no doubt your gut-feel will always tell you what the right decision is to make. Ensure you don’t block out your inner-voice wisdom when making decisions.

Walking Your Talk

“What you do speaks so loudly, I can hardly hear what you’re saying”.

Above everything else, you need to walk your talk. Ultimately this is how you are judged. Remember a promise is a promise no matter who it is to – your family, partner, friend, colleague, employer. It is this level of integrity which increases self-confidence levels instantly.

I encourage you to look at your life through the eyes of others to gauge how they perceive you in each of these areas. Then decide if you need to make any changes.

photo credit: greekadman via photopin cc

Glenise Anderson

Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with coaching, behavioural profiling, training and technical writing.


I’m a big goal-setter. I can go back for years of journals and look at goals I’ve set. I’ve even got them written on a whiteboard in the garage! You could say I’m a goal-setting tragic.

I make no excuses, they work for me – always have and I suppose, they always will. I love the process of sitting down (usually at the beginning of the year) and working out where I want to be by the end of the year.

Sometimes the goals are fulfilled, sometimes they are not. In fact, sometimes opportunities I hadn’t even dreamed of, have opened because of an unfulfilled goal. Either way, goals give me motivation to keep moving forward. But that’s just me.

This year, however, I’ve started a little differently with myself and with my clients. Before even looking at goals, we’re going back to basics, looking at the things that are holding us back.

Before you start any goal setting, there are two must-do steps to move you forward. Sit down in a quiet spot with a piece of paper and pen. I want you to do a mind map on each side of the page. Don’t know how to do it? Draw the outline of cloud in the middle of page, turn over and do the same on the other side.

Step 1: Write START or BEGIN in the middle of one cloud. This is for all the things you know you need to start doing. It could be look for a new job, put insurances in place or start calling one client a day to build up your referral base. Those things that are important but for some reason you are not getting around to doing them.

Step 2: Write STOP or END in the middle of one of the cloud. Think of the things that are creating frustration in your life and be specific, for example don’t write ‘procrastinating’, write ‘sell unwanted items in garage sale’, ‘pay off credit card’ or ‘close old bank accounts’

Cover all areas of your life and remember to focus just on the things that are creating the most frustration in your life.

They say uncompleted tasks leech energy and I believe that is true. When things aren’t finished, they take up valuable space in your head while you constantly think ‘I should, I need to, I must….’

Just take one thing at a time from your list and finish it. Do not work on any other item. Stay focused until it’s completed.

You will be amazed at how much better you will feel. I have 8 things on my two pieces of paper, have completed two already and got another underway. Getting rid of jobs that have been hanging around for so long has been energising.

Interestingly enough, one client commented that after going through this process, it very clearly highlighted what’s holding them back. Another client mentioned it gave her clarity around what she was able to complete and what, in fact, she had no influence over at all. It enabled her to stop worrying about a whole lot of things which she had no control over.

And for those of you who aren’t goal-setters, this just might be what you’re looking for.

Image credit: EladeManu

Glenise Anderson

Glenise  is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies with coaching, training and technical writing.


One of the things I love about Facebook is the abundance of inspiring quotes to read.  One which resonated with me recently was “Nothing changes unless you change. Everything changes once you change”.

It reminded me that I am in absolute control of my life and my response to what happens.  If I don’t like where I’m at, I need to make some changes.  In fact, it’s the basis of a lot of the coaching I do.

Today, however, it’s about tips for creating a more fulfilling life.  These tips are focused firmly and squarely on “giving to others”.

Tip 1: Volunteering

A great way to spend free time, if you have it or can make room to do it.  Some companies even give their employees time off work to go out and volunteer, which is a fantastic initiative considering most places are short-staffed due to financial restrictions.  For me, it’s with the PCYC in my local community.  I do this over and above my role as their Chairperson, which had the staff there a little perplexed at first.  I spend a few hours a week as a ‘volunteer’, which I have clearly explained to them means I do whatever it is they need me to do.  Not my ‘day job’ skills (although these come in handy sometimes) and not what I do as their Chairperson, but what they need done.

Tip 2: Cash

If you don’t have time to volunteer but do have spare cash, choose your favourite charity and make a regular donation.  Sometimes charities need cash more than they need man-hours.  The Giving Pledge,  the campaign to encourage the wealthiest people in the world to make a commitment to give most of their wealth to philanthropic causes is a brilliant concept started by Warren Buffet and Bill Gates.  But if you’re not in that league, as most of us aren’t, it could be as simple as ‘paying it forward’.  Next time you’re in your local cafe, try paying for the next person’s cup of coffee.  Random acts of kindness usually have ripple effects.

Tip 3: Stay in touch

Picking up the telephone to say hello, could make a world of difference to someone and only needs to take 5 minutes of your time.  Whether it be family, friends, an elderly person you know or someone in need, a quick, friendly phone call could change the fabric of their whole day.

Try one or more of these tips throughout the year and your life will be more fulfilling and as a bonus, your confidence levels will increase.

How do I know this?  Because I do them all.  I go to bed every night and am grateful to be in a position to help others outside my normal ‘day’ job.  It is rewarding, fulfilling and just plain worth doing.

Glenise Anderson

Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies.


They say the nation comes to a stand still for the Melbourne Cup.  Millions of people around the world watch the race on TV, listen on the radio or for a lucky few, are able to dress up and attend the event. Before the race, the nerves of the horse owners, trainers and jockeys must be on a knife edge.  We mere mortals, who bet on the outcome have dry mouths and hold our breath until the very end – hoping against hope that it’s our day to celebrate.

For some of us, it’s not a dissimilar experience to public speaking.  Just before you go out in front of the crowd, your nerves are on a knife edge, you have a dry mouth, you want a great outcome and you’re probably holding your breath!  Confidence is often a little lacking.

Well, here’s five tips to help make public speaking easier for you:

#1 Know your topic

I know this sounds like Public Speaking 101 and it should be.  Knowing your topic back to front gives you an inner satisfaction that no matter what happens or whatever is question is asked, you’ve got it covered

#2 Practice, Practice, Practice

Ah, Public Speaking 101a do I hear you say? Well, you would be right.  But have you noticed that when you practice, you often sound flat and uninspiring.  You put it down to the fact you are practicing and all will be fine at the time.   Here’s a tip I read somewhere and I found it extraordinarily helpful.  Buy books like In Our Time – The speeches that shaped the modern world and Speeches that changed the world.  Pick a speech you know and read it out loud, then read it again with more passion and then do it again.  Choose another – get the idea?  It teaches you rhythm and passion.

#3 Speak in stories

We’re wired to learn by stories, it’s happened since we were children.  Whatever points you feel are particularly important – weave a story around it.

#4 Less is more

When we’re passionate about something we want to tell people every little detail about it.  Like anything stylish – less is more.

#5 And the final tip – Breathe

Nerves are natural but to manage the pounding heart and dry mouth, remember to keep breathing.

Pop your content around these 5 points and smile throughout, your confidence will soar and when you hit the finish line, you’ll feel like a winner.

Good luck but I don’t think you’ll need it!

Glenise Anderson

Glenise is the Chief Confidence Chick at Self Confident Women, a personal development company helping women around the world create a better life. She is also the Director of SR Group Pty Ltd, a training and development consultancy assisting corporate companies.